Sunday, 21 November 2010

chasing pavements.

should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads to nowhere?

yesterday when the CD player at the car 'sensitively' played this song, all that we can do is sing along.

frustrating, please don't torture me.

Thursday, 18 November 2010


wow, i haven't written anything in this blog for a long time, long long time.

well, hello! how are you all?

so, where have i been?
currently i'm playing double role as a real microbiology student and a part time musician while leaving my comfort zone away and finding a new comfort zone.

the picture was taken by my fellow microbiologist, robby ganesha, thank you robby!

i'm loving my role as a real microbiology student although it's driving me crazy and consume almost my entire brain to study biophysics, organic chemistry and analytical chemistry. and consume my time to be at the laboratory for hours and doing gazillions tasks (journal, experiment report, etc.) every weekend. plus i'm taking extra subject(my ambition to follow fast track program). but i'm loving it so much. i really think that this microbiology really suits me :) and just pray for me that i can be a good food/medical microbiologist! :)

pictures are taken from here, thank you agung! :)

i really love my role as a part time musician too. although it really took almost my whole spare time. i mean, if i'm not in the laboratory or campus then you have 90% chance to catch me at some random studio, practicing; at music school, studying music; at random gig, performing; or at random wedding or acoustic performance, working. it's tiring, although it doesn't consume brain as much as my study but i consume my energy a loads to perform well. not forget to mention about : late night performances which leave me sleepy at morning classes, performances outside town that will take my entire day and force me to bring my task thus doing it while waiting or even on road,
but i'm happy with this, with my angsa dan serigala, voice of june, klabklassik string trio, and some band that use me as an additional.

because as i have mentioned before, i'm leaving my comfort zone, really really leaving it to open my heart for a new comfort zone. and it doesn't feel nice and warm and secure. it's harsh, it's not safe, and it's still a probability to have a new comfort zone. meaning right now, i'm TRULY INDEPENDENT and as a person being independent really tortures me. and i'm using my double role to push away my thoughts from loneliness, inferiority syndromes, and stuffs.

i have to be tough and magical, cause that's the way 'he' always see me :)

and who knows what will happen in the future? (quoting someone)

i'll talk to you later, now i have to catch up for my group presentation's experiment at 10 am. just wish me luck! and wish me luck for this weekend! (God please just give the best for me)

with loads of love
afifa ayu ♥

Monday, 16 August 2010

hello all :D

Wow, i haven't updated my blog for such a loong time :) i'm trying to be more productive right now :) a loads of writing will enhance your english.
(lately i'm feeling like my english is rather dull)

and well how are you? i'm feeling quite fine nowadays! :D let me give you updates!

finally i'm a real university student right now! majoring Microbiology :) i'm quite happy with this major, i like microbiology so much. Microbes is so unique, although they are very very small their role is so big in our everyday life. And every life process is connected with microbes. I really think that this major is suitable for me, besides it pursue my interest. It is also a branch of knowledge that's emerging and evolving very fast right now!
and well, since my GPA (and everyone's GPA in Microbiology) fulfills the requirements for fast-track program, i'm quite sure that i will apply for this fasttrack program. 5 years to take our bachelor and master degree. i hope that i can cope with everything, but i guess it will be allright. You just need extra hard work! besides, getting bachelor+master in a short time will let me take another master degree on music, somewhere else abroad, maybe?
well just pray for me!

awawa congratulations for my lovely band, angsa dan serigala!

we play at TVRI! what a wonderful picture :)

and our song 'Bersamaku' won Indonesian Cutting Edge Music Award as one of the Best Newcomer (there were 8 other bands who win this category)

kak aji and kak mega holding the trophy

It was quite surprising, i mean, on the last week of the voting our position was not that good and stuffs (but in fact, it wasn't depend only on the voting, they have juries and stuffs to choose the winners)
We are all very grateful for this, something that we.. really didn't expect to happen. Thanks God :)
After that we had one page full review of us in Media Indonesia.

hmhm, on Media Indonesia :)

one of our performance on ABSTRAK V was being reviewed on Belia PR :)

and we've just had an interview plus photo session with Pikiran Rakyat. again, thanks dear God :)

what are we trying to do now is like regenerating the band.
creating new arrangement of songs, new concepts, new compositions, and even choreography! we're also still working on our recording for our EP and
it's a long way for us to have an EP for our own, the biggest thing that hinders us is the budget. but we will strive for it! having an EP is like having an identity for a band. it doesn't mean that if you already have EP or album, it will guaranteed your band's successfulness. But at least, having EP or album is like having a very good tools to spread your music to the media, to the people all around Indonesia. People can access it easily from everywhere, our music can be publicated more easily with the presence of EP or album.
having EP or album also means video clip, which means more and more publication :)
well just pray for us! not forget to mention, with new goals to be achieved i'm trying to contribute more and more to this band :) they are just like second family for me! :)
and full loyalty will surely lead to a better band!

i'm getting along quite well. now i can blend with them, not only from the things that they talk about, but also to their daily outfits and life style.

quite girlband-ish right? (the picture was taken on a radio interview)

and cheers :D

see? you cannot see that i'm still a member of a serious folk rock band right?

btw, the picture was taken on 'Top 15 Live Audition of L.A. Lights Indiefest' :) we played our song 'Bertepuk Sebelah Tangan' :) our performance was quite great. but unluckily we didn't pass to the next stage, but i think that's quite great to be Top 15 from Bandung.
this achievement lead us to new projects to establish ourself, and again please just pray for us :)

improvement needed.
i'm trying to focus on myself, to develop myself. let's not think about other shining stars out there.
right now i'm learning musical modes, twelve keys, pentatonic, diminished keys, major keys, minor keys, augmented keys-well, PROPER IMPROVISATION. and also music theory, and etudes and all those quite sickening stuffs.
pray for me.
others can be flashy, but i have my own style of playing violin. i just need to develop it :)

lately i've been playing orchestra again, with ITB Student Orchestra. i'm very happy :) hope they will let me play with them more.

one project was playing at the artepolis.

one project was playing for ITB International Choir Competition's Opening. i accidentally sat on a golden chair :)

during the holiday, i help my friends band, one as a violinist one as a... cellist..

helping baby eat crackers :)

and helping pink pony club :)

after a quite long absence, i'm back in business. things were really hectic back there but now let's contribute fully to my wonderful klabklassik. trying to write articles for the blog, trying to help for the Classical Guitar Fiesta 2010 publication, trying to do some composition for the Klab, and trying to finish the Klabklassik's Academy final task.

well i love cooking, and i've just had my first experience for selling my own food. it was cupcake, macaroni schotel and lemonade (on my bigger sister comic launching Satu Atap)

tid bid :)

i really want to be able to cook many recipes! from cake, dessert, indonesian food, japanese food, western food, etc.
and i really like if my own cooking is being liked my many other person. i really feel the enjoyment. i want to open a business in culinary (people always need foods, anyway) and i also want to be a cupcake artist!

harmony? i guess that's what i really want to achieve right now. as you have known, i am still a bit anti social, but i really want to change, change a bit. i don't want to be a super sociable girl, that spend most of her time in organization etc.etc. i really can't (because i have loads of other responsibilities out there)
and if i'm changing to be a super sociable girl then i will change myself. i still want to be myself.

and back to harmony, i cannot be extremely anti social. right now i'm trying to participate a bit there, not much, but still having some existence. my major is still music and organizations out there, this kind of inner campus organization will be like a 'minor' for me. but let's just try to participate, following meetings, filling out open reqruiment form, and finishing the matriculation program for PPN. i'm not aiming for a big goal (like being kadiv or something else, something special, something great and reflecting great ability of leadership blah blah).

besides, everyone have different kind of contribution to 'that' organization, depending to our own ability. i can play music, so i don't bother to play in any of their events or do something related to it.

and i guess you all can see that i'm trying hard to contribute and participate. i'm just not a very sociable person, but i try to follow it although it's sometimes killing me.
how wonderful it will be if i can still help without reducing the values inside myself, and we'll be living in harmony, appreciating each other.

i'm also planning to take an italian language course, i really want to find some short course or summer school about music in italy. and it will help a lot if you can speak and understand italian a bit :p

and i'm trying to write more, to practice my english and critical thinking.

and nooo more inferiority syndrome, let's love myself!

and this post is getting a bit too long, i guess i should stop.
talk to you later :)

with love, afifa ayu♥

Saturday, 5 June 2010

what road to choose :)

hey hello all!
okay loads of things have happened recently from a big changes until a small changes.

first of all #ACADEMIC THINGY
ok finally i have my GPA with me. it's satisfying and i really hope that i can enter microbiology with this GPA. and also fulfill my dream of being in SITH's dean list. amen. however, my destiny (whether i'll be a microbiology or a biology student) will be announced at 17th of june. please pray for me that i'll get microbiology as my major :)

second of all #PPN THINGY
well at least the first stage has finished~

third of all #LOVE THINGY
ok right now i'm focusing my love to a boy :p this decision includes really leaving my ex haha (i should have done that really long long time ago)
this boy to me is really superb. for the time being, i will let the things flow while showing that i DO care to you, boy :)

well, i feel really great and really sad at the same time. i am glad because finally i can release myself, learn to be independent. besides i can be closer to my family and best friends. i really agree that my ex has successfully made himself as the center of my world, sometimes it is just making me rather blind and insensitive to other people.
but in the other way, sometimes i just feel empty and lonely.
and since my new dream boy is only a crush, what can i expect? a 24 hours care? nah-ah, i cannot demand for that.

but i'm sure i can manage the things. i have to manage the things. this is the real moment for me to MOVE FORWARD, to be stronger and more independent!

fifth of all #MUSIC THINGY
it's still very fun and enjoyable as usual. i don't say that i am not serious. i am serious. but this music things appear in my life because it can decrease my stress for everyday's life :)
my short time goal is to be able to use music mode for improvisation (i'll explain why later in the following post) and to teach violin :)

but for overall my mood is quite good! and positive!
holiday has came. and i really wanna have fun! playing music, performing, cooking, planning my study, and having some great holiday!

happy holiday all! :)

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

new hobby ^^

hello all :)
finally right now i'm having half holiday. no more classes and exams but i still have to follow Program Perkenalan Nymphaea + doing my usual routine with klabklassik string trio, angsa dan serigala, and stuffs.
so let's just call it "HALF HOLIDAY"

ok, right now i have a new hobby. it is productive.
but actually it is not really new, this is my holiday hobby.. COOKING :)

let's take a look into few pictures of my cooking lately (beside my cake last week)

cream of chicken soup :3

buttered steak with fried rice :3

italian steak with egg frittata and rucola salad

well, i just hope that with all of my cooking practice i will be a good wife and mom later on :) amen!

gotta go now, i'm having a performance on Hari Keluarga TPB ITB 2009 with my friends and after that, PPN.

please with me luck!! :)

Friday, 21 May 2010


this is a cake, and this cake is rather special♥

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

colorful life :)

well hello all! :)

recently something very big has happened to my life. and all of sudden, my life has changed within few days. really change. i really think that i don't have to mention what's changing if you are my best friend then you will know what's really CHANGING.

and now i'm quite happy. thank you ya Allah :)
i'm gonna walk carefully now while still having loads of curiosity about "this"

i just hope that this time everything will be incredible and it the fun will last :)
and now. let's have fun miaw miaw!!
let's paint it in a very colorful way!


and and ok a bit update.

i got AB and AB for chemistry and physics. i'm really grateful. i mean, i really flunk physics and i got a bad chemistry score for the first mid test. but it ends up with total score 71, and 72 is A. i really hope that miracle will happen and my chemistry score will be an A :P

my band's

angsa dan serigala
is playing today and tomorrow. today is at blitz megaplex for a charity event at 9 pm. tomorrow is SMAN 5 Firetory Expo, and the L.O will be my old plurk friends :)
please kindly drop by and say hello hahaha :D

and my other band, voice of june will play in jatinangor this sunday. oh, i never been to jatinangor before. i hope it'll be fun :p

i'm gonna have Program Perkenalan Nymphaea next week. pray for me.

i'm gonna bake cake today. ahem.

and i'm quite happy and feeling lovely. hahaha. thanks to everyone :)

gotta go now, i'll give more update later on! cheers!

Liebe, Afifa Ayu♥

Monday, 10 May 2010

Indonesian Cutting Edge Music Award 2010 =)

ok, a little update.
i'm doing my final exams right now. pray for me. and also so many final project! calculus, physics, and SAS and still have to fix my running test score :P

so i don't have much time.

btw, my band angsa dan serigala is one of the nomination of INDONESIAN CUTTING EDGE MUSIC AWARD 2010 in the category of THE BEST NEWCOMER! =)

so, i really appreciate if you vote for my band.
here's the step :

1. go here , the official website of ICEMA 2010. the best new comer tab.

3.choose 'vote for best new comer'

4.choose ' ANGSA DAN SERIGALA - bersamaku ' don't forget to fill the form and then check your email and verify your vote! :)

thank you very much all :) your vote will really really help us! :)

and for upcoming show, tomorrow, tuesday 10th of May we will have a show at UNPAR Bandung in International Relation Expo-Youthphoria at 5 pm (right after my Sistem Alam Semesta final test, gotta get out of the class fast LOL)

for more information, just go here

and gotta go now! still have 7 Chapters for Sistem Alam Semesta :)

Love, Fifa♥

Saturday, 1 May 2010

you'll be surprised to read this.

hello all, finally i cannot let this thing buried inside my head. i have a story for you all. and please read it carefully :)

i'm trying out a very main stream thing right now.. which is OSJUR. hahaa. yesterday the seniors interviewed us, they also ask me for my Curriculum Vitae and they also give us some personality test.
and yesterday they ask me, "what do you think about an anti social person?"

hahaha, i guess they're asking this question into the wrong person. since i know, some people labels me as an antisocial. but whatever, i really have to ignore their thoughts.
do they pay for your tuition? NO.
do they care for you when you are down? NO.
do they know you exactly? NO.
have i ever tried to interfere them? NO.

so why should i care?

i'm very sorry , but i think that people that label a person as an anti social has a shallow mind. you can't expect anyone to be like you, God make everyone to be different, and if someone's different from you, why should you take a really big deal of it?

if you think that i am an antisocial, ok that's ok. you can say that i am arrogant etc. but i really have to say that i have another responsibilities out there and priority list. if i can come into a gathering then i will come. but my responsibilities have been built 2 years before i enter ITB, if my responsibilty clash with gathering etc. then i will have to choose my responsibility.

you can say, that i only have an indie band. but no matter how small is my band, i want to be give my dedication fully. maybe we are only an indie band but we're serious. we have vision and mission. if you say being an indie band member is not a big deal, it is a big deal for me. no matter how small the scope is, if you're serious then someday better things will come to you, insya Allah.

and it's tiring too of course. maybe you think that practicing 2 hours in studio is not a big deal. but it's sometimes tiring, especially when after that you still have to study until 10 pm at home. and wake up again at 4 am to study more. and checksound? it takes my time too, i bring books to be read while waiting because you will not know how long it will take. and recording? one shift equals 6 hours, and your time to take your playing will only be about 1 hours, the rest of the time? i usually bring books, again to read. and the performance? when you come on stage you have to smile, you have to play whole heartedly, you have to smile, you have to be cheery. when you have big troubles or your body is sick you still have to play like that. there's no excuse, in stage you have to look incredibly nice for the audiences. because sometimes they pay to see you, they have give their time to see you. and the only way to appreciate it is to give the best service for them.

and my other business as a wedding musician. i really love it. and although it's still a small one it's evolving. i have to practice and play as best as i can. you will not be happy if the musician's in your wedding is playing sucks. you will also be unhappy if you attend a wedding with a bad singer.

and also my own study. MY PARENT HAS GIVEN ME ALL THE BEST. good schools, paying for my expensive school and university tuition. they gave me english course that costs 400000IDR a month for my future. they paid my USM and all of those stuffs before i enter ITB, like entering Bimbingan Belajar Daniel. they have bought me all the original book. they also let me photocopied all of those heavy book per chapter so i can bring only the chapter that i need for one day because they don't want me to carry those heavy things with my small body. they have gave me music course to stabilize my right and left brain.

they provide me driver to go to school and a car, later on if i can drive properly. if i ask money from them, they will give it without asking, sometimes more then what i need. hopefully now, for everyday's life like lunch in campus, buying stationary, buying my unimportant things (like dress, jewelry, felt markers, and fancies)i already can afford it myself. i know how hard is it to work, to get money. so i try to manage my own money as good as i can. i'm saving it in my bank, i bring snacks to campus so i don't have to buy unimportant meals (which is sometimes doesn't contain good nutrition too)
i think that there's NO NO NO EXCUSE FOR ME TO HAVE A BAD GPA.

the only thing that you can do for your parent is to make them proud. they contribution to you is ultimate. you should think about your parent first, before you think about some social group.

and i try to help mom at home. i try to go home early so that i can help her doing something. nowadays, it's rather hard for me. since i have my indie band, another band, and my job. so whenever i have a free time, well family must come first.

for me it's not the time to playing around, i have to stick to my plan. to be focus. i'm living in a pressure cooker, but i don't care.

hm, that's for my case.

the point is, a person has reason for them to be rather inactive in one social group. maybe they have a different burden than you. for my case, my burden is from the beginning all of my own choices.
but what if they have no choices?

maybe they have to earn their own money for they school tuition? we don't know about that.
maybe their parent is super strict and demanding them for a good GPA, to get a scholarship, to ? we don't know about that.
maybe they have to take care of their smaller siblings? we don't know about that.
maybe their mother is sick and they have to be at their mother's side? we don't know about that.
or maybe they just have another passion like me?

so please please please.
why you all have to be like "OK LET'S ELIMINATE THE ANTISOCIALS!"

we the antisocials (on your perspective)never want to eliminate you.
please please please just live in harmony.

if we're not disturbing you then why you have to disturb me?
personally you see, if i can come to one gathering then i'll come, i'll help.

please respect each other, we're just the same. we're just a human.

writing down in the behalf of the "so called-antisocials"

Afifa Ayu


uh well, hello all. sorry i didn't post anything for weeks. i just had my physics test yesterday.

finally i have came into the last 3 weeks of Tahap Persiapan Bersama (ITB's first year) and those weeks will not be easy, at all :p
i need to be focus in my study alsoo in my other responsibility (here you see me stealing time at 6am in the morning before studying and later on attending my band's practice for tomorrow's performance at 9am -___-)

btw, for the performance..

don't forget to come to FISIP FAIR UNPAD tomorrow at Sasana Budaya Ganesha, my band gonna play in the indoor stage at 3pm. afterwards there will be a lot of really GREAT band, for example Mocca, Kahitna, Rocketrockers, THE SIGIT, etc.
on the spot ticket IDR60.000


ok then, i'm gonna have gazzilions of exam (exaggerating) and projects for the end of this semester.
chemistry, final exam of : Sistem Alam Semesta, biology, calculus, sports, and english (for me my presentation test) i also have Research Based Learning for physics, calculus project, SAS project, and also i haven't finished my sports test (but i'll try to finish it from next week, my leg is hopefully getting better and i get a new medication that seems to improved it)

right now that's the most important thing that keep buzzing in my head :p i need a good GPA, i think it will not be as good as my last GPA, because i know, to have an A or AB or B in sports is rather impossible. but i still don't know yet, i have to pray, keep my finger crossed and strive HARD, God, please make my GPA good and let me enter microbiology, amen! :)

i'm also dreaming to see my name in the dean list of School of Life Sciences and Technology. ahhaha. just pray for me :3 i want to make my mom and dad proud of me :) if my GPA this semester is the same with the last semester, maybe i'd enter the deanlist :D

and i really want to search for a summer school in holland, like my sister does. but right now please just be focus to final exam and entering microbiology and also sneaking into deanlist hahaha :DD *you can't blame me for dreaming, right?

Saturday, 17 April 2010

violin and physics♥

hey hello all! :)

ok, now i want to tell you a story about two things. violin and physics.
well, i LOVE violin while i HATE physics. but this two things have a connection to each other.
ok, i used to only know their connections which are too conceptual. for example tension concept (for the strings), frequency concept (for the notes) and many other lame thing that i didn't like. LOL.

but recently my physics lecturer give a lecture about electromagnetic induction. as i have mentioned in my earlier post, i hate induction because it involves Right Hand Rule.

but then, my teacher came to the implementation of electromagnetic induction : GUITAR PICK UP (also work as well as violin pick up) and MICROPHONE. i was very astonished and happy.

i mean, i never know how my pick up works. my friends always ask to me how this pick up works, and i don't know, and also at that time i was too lazy to search it on google ^^"

and see how it works, in my opinion. please correct me if i'm wrong!

in violin the pick up is connected to the violin bridge. when we play a note, the strings will vibrate and the violin bridge will also vibrate.
here's a picture of a violin brige plus pick up..

now, let's imagine a coil and a magnetic bar, well here's the picture.

and violin string is analogous of the magnetic bar, violin string is made of a magnetic material. while the pick up part that is connected to the bridge is analogous to the coil.
when we play a note the string will vibrate. the vibration is like the movement of the magnetic bar into and out of the coil. the vibration will give a change into the magnetic flux (the number of magnetic line that pass through a surface perpendiculary). the magnetic flux change thus will make the coil (or the pick up part, in this case) to be inducted. it will make the pick up to be have an induction current.
this thing will make the sound of your violin, sound wave to be translated into electrical current. this change make it possible for the current to be delivered to the amplifier. and the amplifier will make your violin sounds louder :)

ok i don't what's going on inside my head. why i post thing like this in my blog? i mean.. physics! so eww~ but whatever, i just feel like writing it.

and talking about pickup.
my first pick up is a V 200 Fishman Pickup.

here's the case.

and here's how it looks.

my old v 200 fishman pickup (she (hahaha it has a gender LOL) has been working with me for 5 years)is now retiring. mm, not exactly now, but next week.
ok she has been quite troublesome lately. many soundmans said that the pick up made noises (due to lack of grounding). angsa dan serigala's soundman, kang gilar, also said that he has to keep the volume down because if the volume is up my violin will sound so 'cempreng' (oh my God, i don't know what's cempreng in english, anyone?)

so i order a new pick up, a LR Bagg (the same type of my teacher's) from USA.
and the pick up has just arrived! here take a look!

here's the case!

and take a look inside :)

since the installment of my LR Bagg requires several days (replacing the violin bridge plus adjusting it to my violin) so i haven't changed my pick up yet. i cannot 'hospitalized' my violin this weekend because i have 2 performances and 1 recording (sometimes weekend is just as busy and as hectic as weekdays, it just has a different pressure -__-)

well, so this weekend will be the last week of my V 200 Fishman, after all of her hard works :(

now suddenly i think i have the reason to write this post. i write it for my lovely V 200 Fishman, as a tribute to her. my expression of thank you for her incredible performance.and also my expression of gratitude for this entire 5 years.

bye bye my lovely V 200 Fishman Pickup! you can rest well now, i will always remember you as my first pick up, my first loyal companion to reach my goal of being a dazzling violinist! :)

Liebe, fifa♥

Thursday, 15 April 2010


you have been such a romantic vacation fling, and we spend a good time together. but that's all. you're only a prince, not a knight. sorry honey, my heart is not for you.

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

a quick study updates ^^

wow hello! :)

i just feel like writing a quick update about my study ^^
okay, i've finished all of my first midterm. i got 51 (out of 54) in calculus. 55 (out of 100) in chemistry, 53 (out of 100) in physics, and 89 (out of 100) in biology.

i have two scores that actually a bit disappoint me, and make me feel really really inferior. but i know just being disappointed all the time will not increase my score.
i have to study more, be more focus, ignore the valedictorian's score, be postive, be grateful, and also pray to Allah.
that i would have a score that suits my sacrifice.
i mean if i study hard, God, please increase my score.
and if i am lazy, i don't mind to have bad scores, it's just the consequences.

and i'm still like usual, still in my old hobbies of writing my notes with colourful markers. still feel retarded in the class, and have to catch up at home real hard.
and still in my own way of being study oriented : class home class studio home class soundcheck class vocal course class violin course class stage class home.
(this is a bit strange form of study oriented, but whatever. this is my life anyway :3)

well gotta study harder for chem and physics. strangely i wanna proof that being a member of an indie band, and using blackberry as your phone will not make you flunk and your grade plummet, LOL. and also i wanna beat someone and some cliques in my class hahaha. ok i know that those are such a funny, immature, and ridiculous study motivation, but i don't care :D as long as i have a motivation and it will not harm anyone, i think that's pretty fine to me.

and now here comes the second midterm.

next week is calculus and i really hope that i can study calculus from this week.

because most of the subject will involve 3D orientation (vectors and parametric curve). and my brain is definitely not made for 3D :D for function with two or more variables and also matrices i'm doing quite okay. just.. pray for me.

two weeks from now is physics.

i'm doing quite with the equations of magnetic and induction but not with the RIGHT HAND RULE. ok, God give me a miracle please. i will study really hard!

and chemistry? also have to study real hard. i won't flunk this time, i hope.

so gotta study hard, real hard.


ok, maybe that's all for my quick update, i gotta go for my chemistry last experiment! (yippie) see you later!


Saturday, 10 April 2010

download 'em!

i'm dreaming of having an EP of my own, someday.

i love to make songs.

right now i have 4 songs that have been recorded, feel free to download it and listen to it and give a comments and constructive critics about my songs.

just go here.
and you'll find 4 songs of mine.
anak negri

and i'm creating new songs also right now, to enrich my song's library. pray for me! :)
later on i'll get myspace for my own song also. pray for me.

Liebe, fifa♥
(currently studying:electromagnetic induction, geez -___-)


my father has just bought me cupcakes from jakarta. maybe you have heard of this cupcakes store by chocalot in cilandak town square or plaza indonesia.

the cupcakes are undeniably EXTRA CUTE. EXTRA SWEET and GIRLY and it has such a strong fragrant. just eat it, and you will feel like flying over the rainbow in a fairy land's sky :3
the cupcakes are just too beautiful. just take a look to their websiteand you'll see what a beautiful cupcakes that they have.

oh well, talking about cupcakes. i love to bake cupcakes also.

my cupcakes is not that beautiful. but i think it tastes more simple and home made-ish. and just before i leave my laptop and do some violin practices and do my physics homework (oh God) maybe i should share my simple cupcake recipe!

this recipe is for my favorite homemade cupcake :)

the ingredients :

100 gr of blueband (or any margarine that you like)
100 gr of caster sugar (my mom told me that we don't have to buy caster sugar, which is more costly, we can simply make caster sugar by putting sugar into food processor)
75 gr of self raising flour
25 gr of cacao (van houten is the best, believe me!)
2 eggs

just put all of the ingredients together in a bowl, mix it well with electric mixer. pour it into baking pan specialized for cupcakes. bake it with 180 degree celcius for about 15-30 minutes (you'd better check frequently to your oven)

you can also decorate it, my favorite decoration is emoticon cupcake :D LOL.

**if you want to make plain cupcakes instead of chocolate, you can just switch 75 gr of self raising flour and 25 gr of cacao with 100 gr of self raising floor plus a pinch of vanilla powder.

well happy cooking!
and i guess tomorrow i'll bake cupcakes!

Liebe, fifa♥

Friday, 9 April 2010

self determination.

hello all, finally weekend :) i can post something more rather than just a quick update or photographs.

currently i'm facing a problem of again, inferiority syndrome. this one is quite acute, i've suffered from many kind of inferiority syndrome. and currently i'm trying very very hard to overcome this.

now i will do some review about my heart's condition lately.

ok, i was born in a successful family (and i really didn't mean to exaggerating or being arrogant) well, maybe not that 'successful' but extraordinary.

my father is a businessman that had begun his office since he was still in the university. my mother is a medical doctor that became a biomedical engineering lecturer, she's a super mother. my eldest sister received a scholarship for doctoral degree, she's flawless at academic. my other sister is a successful comic artist and also a good cellist. and my brother entered idola cilik, and yet a very brainy boy that plays guitar, piano, violin, sing as well as making song very well.

one of my best friend has ever asked, "do you ever feel under pressure?"
i just smiled that time.

but i really am. i am really depressed and also feel really really under pressure.

i really thank God for all of the things that He has gave to me.
i mean i'm still alive until now, my family is not poor at all. i'm thankful that my parent gave me an excellent education, from all of those favorite schools and now this university, ITB, until many of my extra lectures : english at TBI (until advanced level), violin, piano, guitar, and vocal. i am also very thankful that i have driver to pick and drop me off everywhere.

i'm also very thankful that my family is supportive to my hobby, and they bought me all of the equipment : violin, pick up, wireless, books, international examinations, and stuffs.

i also have a great band named Angsa dan Serigala, a good wedding trio named klabklassik string trio, i can sing a bit and produce money, and also i can compose several songs. i'm thankful God.
i'm very thankful.

but well.

i'm trapped in stagnancy. HELP!

when i didn't achieve much and being stagnant all the time, i'm feeling really really down.
i really feel that i'm wasting all of my resources.
and i'm drowning even and even more.

when my surroundings is sparkling and shining, i just can't help feeling hurt and jealous (not forget to mention, my best friends are also successful and extraordinary. they're just too good to be true)

i also want to be a star, a super achiever like them.

and also some other things bothered me, i don't know if i'm a good social person or not. i don't really like to spend too much time at campus and doing organization stuffs. i'd rather be at home doing something or practicing something or STUDYING something. to prevent my GPA from falling freely.
i think that organization's experience doesn't always have to be obtained from campus.

i mean, i'm doing some organization also out there. i learn to make events in klabklassik, i also learn to deal with older people, mature people for business purpose. For example i have to deal and do some agreement with client as klabklassik string trio, offering wedding entertainment
so is this wrong? do i have to be like most of the people? does my difference is a big fault?

i don't know.
i don't know whether my behavior is healthy or not.

i have too many questions in my head right now.


ok that's all for the sad and pathetic and annoying part.

i'm just.. doing some review of my heart's condition lately, right? i know i'm being very very emo. please forgive me. i just need to write this down.

but well? what can i do?
if i stop here and feel pathetic all the time, than i will be more and more and more pathetic than this.

and now i'm trying to do my baby steps toward my dream star. to do everything as best that i can. to be thankful in every God's decision for me.

to study more, to maintain my score, to practice violin. not to waste more time and resources. to smile more. to laugh more. to be thankful. to be meaningful. to be something. to be a star. to be beneficial for other people. to be strong. to be patient. not to be panic and full of anger. to be a good friend. to be a good daughter. to be a good sibling. to strive hard. to reach my goal. to shine like my dream star. to be successful.

this gonna take a long way. and a long and hard and bumpy struggle.
but someday i'll shine. someday i'll shine. someday i'll shine.

please kindly leave your comments. i really need a supportive comments and critics.
i want to be a better and succesful girl.


another good photograph!
another good point of being a musician is to stand there on stage and suddenly several days from the show, someone will upload your photograph. a photograph with a good photography technique and good camera.


thanks a lot ahmad hilal, for your photograph!

Monday, 5 April 2010


cool photograph by anata thyara pradini

thank you so much! :3


well well, another post! a quick update post, i'll not post something too philosophical or brainy here LOL. i guess i'll post in on the weekend :3

since my last post my life has changed a bit. it still do looks similar but i know now it's a bit different :3
and right know i really need a little break, so i will write in this blog.

OK, ONE, now i'm the additional keyboardist of a japan power pop band named Voice of June (okay this sounds a bit crazy and so-not-me)the girls there are super cute, super white, super thin, and also a marvelous dancers. but i think i'll have my own style haha ( i spent too much time with a baroque pop-folk rock band though, you can't blame me to have a 'serious' looking LOL.

ok let's compare this :

and this :

haha, maybe i'm in a wrong place xp

TWO, i lost my handphone and my uncle bought me an onyx blackberry. this is like a dream, really. my uncle said it was for my GPA last semester. hope that i can maintain it.

THREE, kak angkuy is not in angsa dan serigala anymore :( he has to be focus on bottlesmoker, since they gonna have a tour to Philipphine and of course much much more great and large project. kak ashaf also has quit, he has a new job as a translator, good for him. kak yulius (he is the bottlesmoker's manager) has replaced him. and now kak aji plays guitar and also, glockenspiel. and we have a new guitarist, kak baruna.
wow, a lot of things have happened in my band. but we're still moving on rapidly, and currently searching for a recording label.

FOUR my best friend HILDA MARDIANA has gone to japan. we (me, hilda, irly, helen, uti, and febe) held the farewell party at my home. we cooked sukiyaki and stuffs. for the farewell we made a CD consist of 5 songs for hilda, and also a scrap book. and i miss her so, nice to know that she's having a good time there.

our party :3

wow, our sukiyaki!

but fyi, i fell in her farewell party. i really fell. i got sprain, bruises, etc. for 2 weeks i couldn't walk properly, and i wore elastic bandage for my sprain legs. it really hurts me, a lot :p but now i'm a bit better. but still, i cannot do the running test today. it's still hard for me to maintain balance in my little feet :3

FIVE i have to say goodbye to his royal highness Arthur. you're just not suitable for me :) go live your sociable life, i'll not interfere you :)

SIXTH i read perahu kertas by dee. and it gives me a HOPE. for a true love <3

SEVENTH my violin teacher offers me to play with him (with d'cinnamon) and also offers me to teach violin. that's quite good, i mean with teaching i have to ensure that i have enough skill to be delivered to my future pupil, thus i HA to practice hard.

EIGHT i cut my hair. i want to look like amelie poulain. my mom said i look younger, and my friends opinions vary. from cute, sweet, fairy-ish until kobo chan-ish (ok, is kobo chan a girl or a boy?i'm not pretty sure~)


and me!

NINTH i'll learn to be more grateful for what i've earned :)and i'll study harder than before, i'll practice violin harder than before, i'll work harder than before, and also i'll learn to be more positive :)thank you helen, irly, uti, and the other for your support! :3

and TENTH a lot of ups and downs. but you'll still there. thank you dear KEE! <3

and i gotta go now. kreutzer and bach has already called me :3

love, fifa♥

Thursday, 18 February 2010


ah, i don't usually feel this kind of emotion since i was errr.. in the middle school?

but now, comparing myself to a community that soon i will enter. well, i'm feeling a bit sad.
but now it's ok to write my feelings here.
since tomorrow is holiday and i've been working non stop since last week, i hardly touch this blog or just spending my time playing internet.
so i will write now.

i cannot consider myself as "kawaii"

my body is small. but i'm not that slim and petite. also my skin is not that bright.
i have some extra cute clothes but still generally i wear something a bit dark or pastelle colored.
since i was a little, people rarely say that i'm beautiful. they'd rather call me witty or dilligent.
some people told me that i'm cute. but my best friends who know me well, would say that i have inner beauty.
i am trying to be as fashionable as i can everyday. but some people are born beautiful and attractive.
i am a singer, i think i'm developing. but i'm not attractive, though. i don't dance while singing.
i am an instrument player of a folk rock band. and that's really not kawaii. i wear dark clothes everytime i play. and my make up is not cute. and since my band is a folk rock band we do not dance cutely.

everyday i try to dress and be a beautiful girl.
everytime i try to smile to the camera and be a pretty girl.
but i'm still a geek, like i used to be.

please forgive me. for this so unimportant post.

sometimes i wish God did not create someone that beautiful.

Thursday, 28 January 2010

sporty girls!

well well well.
yesterday was our (me, hilda, helen, and irly) sporty day :D

LOL. and today my body is really really killing me.

due to our PE running test that will be held 4 weeks from now, we decided to do some practice.
and ok, we came at about 7am and it was already hot like hell.
we met so many SITH guys.

and we ran.

so the test will be 6 laps of sasana olahraga ganesha's soccer field. and the field was huge, really really huge.
finally we ran. me and irly almost completed 6 lap for 22 minutes (or maybe much more) hilda almost fainted. and helen took rest.

oh and it helps to run while listening to mp3.
especially dua hati menjadi satu by gita gutawa and dafi.
though it made my heart ache but the rythm suits my running speed.
and it reminds me of 'my sweetest happily ever-after teenlit' scene.
but that scene will still occur, though. so don't be sad! nothing will change, right?

and now my leg and my whole body still hurts.

not only the science subject, sport in ITB is also disastrous.
and i doubt that i'd get a high score (like A or AB, well just keep dreaming)

but if i keep practicing i'm sure that :
A. i'd get at least BC in my sport. i'd pass. and i HAVE to pass anyway!
B. i'll get thin.
C. my breathing will be better.

and my resolution this semester is to be healthier right?
body and mind.

gotta go practicing my meditation from thais, music camp is coming!


*it's a pity that i did not remember to take picture of 4 of us running :p later on i'll bring camera ^^


ok, i'm not afraid. go on and say bad things about me. let's just see what will happen next.

Monday, 25 January 2010

first daay!

well, first day back to itb :)

today i have free time from 10am until 4pm, so i go back home.
fortunately, itb didn't change my classmates. so i'll still stick together with my bests.
but they have changed the lecturer. i got new physics and chem lecturer, and i thought that they teach better and clearer. i gotta study hard to maintain my scores :)

now 2.42 pm, almost the time for P.E. and i'm really not in the mood to do P.E.
after P.E i'll have angsa dan serigala's practice at smooth. really good, i really need to spend a lot of time with other peope. because when i'm alone, every bad memories, worries, and miseries will strike me, hard. LOL

i've just practiced violin in my brand new room. LOL i'm exaggerating i'm just redecorating and rearranging things. but now i have the space for everything. my study, a big cupboard for my music books and university books and other books, another cupboard for stockings, bags and other things, a place to put keyboard, violin, standpart, and all :p

oh, and in this semester i will :
-write more frequently in this blog (whether it's just a quick update, or something more useful like recipe, music or thoguhts) rather than gazing on
A's facebook repeatedly and i'd feel longing and miserable.
B's facebook repeatedly and i'd feel too hopeful and too pessimistic.
C's facebook repeatedly and i'd feel jealous or i'll loathe C more and more.

practice violin regularly really practing, doing etudes and classical songs. and improve hearing too.

study music theoryso that i'll be prepared for the next ABRSM theory :P thanks to mas becke for all of the books and practice books.

repeat each lesson better GPA will soon come, i believe :P

practice keyboard. LOL. welcoming myself as a keyboardist.

practice singing
being pessimistic and optimistic in a adequate value

learn to cook more foods ^^

arthur-ing all day (OK, this is getting so cheesy LOL)

pray and pray and pray :)

oh gotta go now. it's 3pm! keep reading my blog everyone. pray for my first P.E. today!^^


Sunday, 24 January 2010

chopin night with Aleksander Kudajczyk ^^


this is the concert that i've just watched last night with mbak echi, mas hendy, and mas beke at CCF Bandung.

i always love chopin's composition so much. and last night, Sir Aleksander Kudajczyk played the thing really really brilliant :)

unfortunately i forgot to record his playing or take a picture of his playing secretly (because we're not allowed to take pictures >.<)

we (the girls) has got his autograph and took a picture with him, here take a look

thanks to the boys for their patience, especially mas hendy to took the picture :D

well, wonderful concert.
and oh, i have ever played 2 songs from the repertoire last night.

nocturne in c sharp minor, op.posth and one of the chopin's valse.
i guess i'm gonna practice piano again, harder :D


Saturday, 23 January 2010

my holiday ^^

hey all! this is the second last day of my holiday. in january the 25th i'd have to start my new semester on School of Life Sciences and Technology ITB ^^

ok, my holiday, was so nice. thanks God.

and it was unpredictable. thanks God.

ok let's see what i've done in my holiday..

the first week 21dec-27 dec
half holiday. i was still having two of my final examination (ttki and pti) but after that holiday began ^^ i spent a lot of time hanging out with friends and baking cupcakes.

i played at let's play violin it was great. incredibly, i didn't fail my czardas monti that much LOL.

and i intended to watch voice of june performance on ciwalk, but after that i had to go to play at cafe rumah 1930, so i did not watch them (sadly, it was my last job there)

and i played with angsa dan serigala (my dear band^^) on score ciwalk.

the second week 28 dec-3 jan
i didn't do much. only one music lesson, one band practice, making muffins, and then i went to braga festival to watch voj (again) but then the performance was cancelled, oh dear :p
right after new year's eve i had a real holiday, finally ^^ i went to hongkong and china. it was SUPERB!

the third week.4-10 jan
still china. and i went back home to bandung, exhausted. i had one accoustic performance at wedding with my friends, and finally i went to jakarta because my biggest sister, allya, returned back home to italy :(

the fourth week.11-17 jan
a hyper week. this week i learned to make chocolate mousse ^^ i recorded my song, indonesiaku for indonesia song festival 2010 (full version of the story can be read, here).

i practiced with klabklassik string trio for wedding, and then my sister's boyfriend birthday! me and my friend made a surprise party, and me and my sister bake a full of love cake (recipe can be seen here)

after that, angsa dan serigala live recording.

and klabklassik string trio performance at wedding. it was nice.

and yeyen and dian recording project at aru. i played the violin, mas syarif and mas yunus played guitar, mas ammy as the director, kak yeyen and kak dian, of course, as the super duper good singer (uyeah!) and kak dega (as the manager)
we really had a good time ^^ recording, eating, and gossiping. LOL. full story and pictures can be seen here

the last week.
last week of holiday. i spent my time doing a major cleaning up and attending music lessons and exercising on treadmill, LOL. and oh, shopping. i went to matahari BIP, and jogja sunda (surprisingly it sells very good clothes, i bought a nodame cantabile style dress, it was nice! you should try to shop there!^^ -later on i'll post my picture wearing my nodame dress, LOL)

i also just have discovered a cool boutique at setiabudi supermarket. actually it IS for kids. but i don't care, as long as they have a good dresses that fits on me :p

by the way, you may think that i'm a super shopaholic. but trust me, i'm not. i rarely do this kind of shopping spree, besides, i use my own money for previous jobs to buy the thing ^^

and then, i went to oculist, and the doctor said that i CAN wear contact lenses, only for performance, not for daily basis ^^ and why not? so i had the prescription for contact lenses :D but i'm still a bit afraid to try :p
and then, Indonesian Song Festival Team party at my home. we bought, we cooked, we ate :D it was superb also. i learned to make tiramisu, and it was quite nice ^^

and finally today, and tomorrow.

i am trying to optimize my holiday! today i'll go to watch chopin night at ccf. and tomorrow i'll go all day. to my friend house, attending RGB (ok, RGB and i'm going to play guitar LOL. what's RGB? full information here) and.. swim!


i really thanked God for this wonderful holiday, and a good first semester GPA. thanks God! :>
i really thanked God for a wonderful and supportive family.
i really thanked God for all of my friends and best friends.
i really thanked God for everything.

i failed my holiday resolution of practicing driving.
but that's quite fine LOL.

and my mood for this holiday?
a loads of UPs and DOWNs, really. but i've moved on, a bit.
i smiled a lot, i laughed a lot, i cried a lot, and i blushed a lot too! LOL :>

and after all, i just want to be happy. just pray that this happiness won't fade, guys!


Friday, 22 January 2010

cake siram cokelat ^^

cannot really make a good english name for this cake, actually it's just a simple cake layered with chocolate icing.
this recipe is simple and easy to try ^^
i've tried this on 14th of january 2o1o, to celebrate my sister's boyfriend birthday. and it was quite nice ^^

the cake
250 gr of sugar
6 eggs
250 gr of plain flour

1. turn on the oven and set the temperature to 180 degree celcius
2. prepare a baking pan, spread butter and a bit of flour over it
3. put sugar and eggs in a bowl and whisk it until pale, fluffy, and stiff.
4. carefully fold the mixture with flour, pour it into the baking pan
5. bake it for about 20 minutes

the icing (for chocolate layer)
3 tbsp of butter (preferably lurpark or anchor)
2 tsp of cacao
2 tbsp of milk
1 tsp of vanilla powder

1. melt the butter
2. put the other ingredients and mix it well

creating the whole cake
1. put the cake in a baking tray
2. cover it with chocolate icing
3. make another icing (optional) to write and decorate the cake more! :)

happy eating and trying ^^