here we go again :)

oh hello! seems like i haven't written anything on this blog for.. almost 1 year (the last post was on 26th of january 2011 and now it is 21st of january 2012.

well many things has happened in the past one year. my life is great, really great.
academic thing is still going fine, my band and my music career is superb, my band has just launched its first album, i'm still doing my wedding singer chores plus now recording for some project plus collaborating with my fellow musician. now i'm teaching violin plus owning an online cake shop, which gives me a considerable amount of cash :p

but when it comes to love. well i just can say that i'm still unfortunate.

lucky me, my past lover the 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named' is totally gone right now.

it took me 3 years and 5 months, 6 stupid it's complicated status, 1 sincere yet heart wrenching telenovela-like relationship (that i suppose until now is my TRUE love), and 1 salvation + a bit foolish but sweet relationship (i suppose until now is my second candidate of true love and my first candidate of the MOST SINCERE relationship)
well it took that much effort to get rid of him, i think he put a spell on me :p

well, but now i want to tell you about my a bit foolish but sweet relationship, the second candidate of true love and the first candidate of the most sincere relationship.

well, it just has ended (approximately 3 hours ago)
It was really short (in my parameter), 2 months and 14 days. at first it was like a fairy tale but well, in the end it was not a fairy tale, but it taught me a loads of thing :)
i learn about compromise, commitment, understanding, patience and incredibly loads of thing in such a short time.

me and my ex were totally different in everything. i want a cinderella-like relationship, and he's (later on found out to be) as cold as an iceberg. i am an attention seeker + attention giver while he loves to spend his time alone, well a bit self centered sometimes. we have opposite personality, the old-fashioned cancer against the liberty loving aquarius. but we share (i believe up to now) one simple yet sweet sincere love.

he was the cute looking teddy bear guy, my band's friend introduced to me at Gedung Indonesia Menggugat Event. a good photographer and videographer with charming tone color, he really got the talent. a cute guy with a red shirt that shyly ask to take my picture at Kick Fest 2011. a cute guy that pretended to know about Hepatitis Viruses, PCR plus claiming that he love life science when he approach me.

the first month was easy and loving. but then.. it was not as easy as i thought. he began to give me less and less and less attention. being very ignorant and childish and stubborn. I first react as stubborn and bloody-minded as his attitude, i went mad, angry, and super emotional towards him. i scolded him and forbid him to do things that i dislike. i disturbed him by keep bbm/ym/texting him when he work or hang out until midnight with his friend.

but i really wanted the things to work well, to last. i changed my attitude totally. i became more understanding and more cautious. i seek for attention less, i tried to be more independent, stop being a crybaby and i let him to do anything he want. we had a quite difficult time but still loving.

and i went to a trip to Europe and things became irregular. i could see how he has lost the passion of loving me and missing me. i tried harder to salvage the sinking ship but he does nothing. and the entire last week, i was being emotional again, well, i was really desperate. but then finally we talked and it end.


a time apart is what we need right now.
Love is still there but the passion is currently missing.
i really appreciate him to be open and also to accept the fact that he did fatal mistakes to this relationship. i don't think many boy would do that due to their 'pride'
now, i don't have to have too much tiring thoughts about his everyday's ignorance like : 'kenapa ga bbm ya?' 'kenapa ya kok ngetweet tapi bbm aku ga dibalas?' 'kemana dia, kok aku ga dikabarin?' 'oh God, masih sayang ga ya ini orang sama aku kok lepas tangan sekali?'
and he's good to finally release me from that fatiguing thoughts by letting me free.

now i'm trying to understand that right now he need a time alone to develop himself to be a better man. at least, he has to be able to stand on his own feet before trying to be a man for his loved woman right?
i am a bit relieved that one big burden has been lifted up from my shoulder.

---


one thing i believe, that our love was sincere.
aparts from all of the differences, we've survived and we spent some happy time. and i learn about commitment from him. there were times when i am really tired of him, but then i know the relationship and the love for him is more important. so i changed my attitude and try to salvage it.
you can't expect those romantic love will last forever right? i guess, the time when i try to understand and fight more instead of being childish and ignorant is the time when i learn a sincere love, a more mature form of love :)


and i believe that always loving someone else sincere will bring you eventually to a sincere love in the end :) i don't know who will be there in the end, it might be him, it might be other guy. it's up to You, dear Allah :)
but you're always around i know. loving and giving affection not in a romantic way.


Dear Andi Syarif, for now, we may not walk together holding hands.
but we're walking together side by side.
if God permits maybe someday in the future you will again gently take my hand & never let it go!
and i'm asking you to sing this lyric out loud, i guess this part is our favorite!

'Berjalanlah bersamaku, berjalanlah bersamaku!'


with love


Afifa Ayu Koesoema, Marmut <3

2011♥

oh hey hello!
happy new year all~

actually i'm not good in writing new year's resolutions but it's kinda fun to write it, in my usual simple way. half for fun half for real :p
i mean, how can you garantee that person having a 'cool-super ambitious' new year's resolution will be able to fulfill it all?

okay, here's my so called resolution!

ACADEMIC
- having a good understanding of my major to be a great microbiologist (medical and food) :)
- having a good GPA (> 3,5, entering deanlist, yum yum!)
- somehow getting a scholarship for summer school somewhere this summer (let's try to find it! Rijksuniversiteit Nederland, i want to go there so much!)
- read more scientific journals about microbiology! (cmon cmon!)
- being able to start some kind of simple research on microbiology and start to create paper + submitting it somewhere (but i don't know how, help me :p)

MUSIC FOR SELF
- practice violin, singing, piano, and everything harder.
- learn music theory and music history more.
- learn improvisation wholeheartedly
- creating a music blog of my own, You Tube Channel + myspace.
- having a strict violin practice, no tolerance.
- following ABRSM theory exam grade 5 + practical exam, grade 6 or 7?
- learn to play flute or baby alto <3
- create more songs, be more creative, develop my own style :) and don't forget to record it and follow competitions!
- start teaching violin! :)

ANGSA DAN SERIGALA
- commit more commit more! and arrange more things, not only for the string section :)
- record the violin and string section part in our debut album excellently!
- hopefully this will be our year! bunch of performances, successful album, tours outside bandung, and maybe abroad? AMIIIN AMIIN AMIIN.


KLABKLASSIK STRING TRIO
- working more in various kind of events, and get more money hahahaa :D
- make a real portfolio and distributing it :)
- learn many kind of songs, enrichment in song banks and no more 'saying no to requests' at weddings XD

OTHER MUSIC PROJECTS
- being both open minded and also selective in filtering jobs, remember that i can't do it all but i still need loads of experiences :)

COOKING
- learn to cook more more recipe other than western and japanese :)
- being a pastry princess like Whitney Miller (haha, dreaming!) :D
- making my pastry business (cupcakes, cakes and all) serious and having my own little brand plus online store.
- making a proper cooking blog.

LOVE
- come what may, and that's all <3

SELF DEVELOPMENT
- try to be more grateful and get rid of my sh*tty inferiority syndrome! :)
- love myself more :3
- tweet less about unimportant things, bismillah! :p

whoa, this list is going so long, but well i love to write. And hopefully many of this so called resolutions will be fulfilled this year, amin :)


Loads of love,

Afifa Ayu

what road to choose :)

hey hello all!
okay loads of things have happened recently from a big changes until a small changes.

first of all #ACADEMIC THINGY
ok finally i have my GPA with me. it's satisfying and i really hope that i can enter microbiology with this GPA. and also fulfill my dream of being in SITH's dean list. amen. however, my destiny (whether i'll be a microbiology or a biology student) will be announced at 17th of june. please pray for me that i'll get microbiology as my major :)

second of all #PPN THINGY
well at least the first stage has finished~

third of all #LOVE THINGY
ok right now i'm focusing my love to a boy :p this decision includes really leaving my ex haha (i should have done that really long long time ago)
this boy to me is really superb. for the time being, i will let the things flow while showing that i DO care to you, boy :)


fourth of all #THE IMPACT OF LOVE THINGY
well, i feel really great and really sad at the same time. i am glad because finally i can release myself, learn to be independent. besides i can be closer to my family and best friends. i really agree that my ex has successfully made himself as the center of my world, sometimes it is just making me rather blind and insensitive to other people.
but in the other way, sometimes i just feel empty and lonely.
and since my new dream boy is only a crush, what can i expect? a 24 hours care? nah-ah, i cannot demand for that.

but i'm sure i can manage the things. i have to manage the things. this is the real moment for me to MOVE FORWARD, to be stronger and more independent!


fifth of all #MUSIC THINGY
it's still very fun and enjoyable as usual. i don't say that i am not serious. i am serious. but this music things appear in my life because it can decrease my stress for everyday's life :)
my short time goal is to be able to use music mode for improvisation (i'll explain why later in the following post) and to teach violin :)


but for overall my mood is quite good! and positive!
holiday has came. and i really wanna have fun! playing music, performing, cooking, planning my study, and having some great holiday!

happy holiday all! :)

:)

this is a cake, and this cake is rather special♥

colorful life :)

well hello all! :)

recently something very big has happened to my life. and all of sudden, my life has changed within few days. really change. i really think that i don't have to mention what's changing if you are my best friend then you will know what's really CHANGING.

and now i'm quite happy. thank you ya Allah :)
i'm gonna walk carefully now while still having loads of curiosity about "this"

i just hope that this time everything will be incredible and it the fun will last :)
and now. let's have fun miaw miaw!!
let's paint it in a very colorful way!

:3


and and ok a bit update.

i got AB and AB for chemistry and physics. i'm really grateful. i mean, i really flunk physics and i got a bad chemistry score for the first mid test. but it ends up with total score 71, and 72 is A. i really hope that miracle will happen and my chemistry score will be an A :P

my band's

angsa dan serigala

is playing today and tomorrow. today is at blitz megaplex for a charity event at 9 pm. tomorrow is SMAN 5 Firetory Expo, and the L.O will be my old plurk friends :)
please kindly drop by and say hello hahaha :D

and my other band, voice of june will play in jatinangor this sunday. oh, i never been to jatinangor before. i hope it'll be fun :p

i'm gonna have Program Perkenalan Nymphaea next week. pray for me.

i'm gonna bake cake today. ahem.

and i'm quite happy and feeling lovely. hahaha. thanks to everyone :)


gotta go now, i'll give more update later on! cheers!


Liebe, Afifa Ayu♥

cupcake♥

my father has just bought me cupcakes from jakarta. maybe you have heard of this cupcakes store by chocalot in cilandak town square or plaza indonesia.

the cupcakes are undeniably EXTRA CUTE. EXTRA SWEET and GIRLY and it has such a strong fragrant. just eat it, and you will feel like flying over the rainbow in a fairy land's sky :3
the cupcakes are just too beautiful. just take a look to their websiteand you'll see what a beautiful cupcakes that they have.




oh well, talking about cupcakes. i love to bake cupcakes also.

my cupcakes is not that beautiful. but i think it tastes more simple and home made-ish. and just before i leave my laptop and do some violin practices and do my physics homework (oh God) maybe i should share my simple cupcake recipe!

this recipe is for my favorite homemade cupcake :)

the ingredients :

100 gr of blueband (or any margarine that you like)
100 gr of caster sugar (my mom told me that we don't have to buy caster sugar, which is more costly, we can simply make caster sugar by putting sugar into food processor)
75 gr of self raising flour
25 gr of cacao (van houten is the best, believe me!)
2 eggs

just put all of the ingredients together in a bowl, mix it well with electric mixer. pour it into baking pan specialized for cupcakes. bake it with 180 degree celcius for about 15-30 minutes (you'd better check frequently to your oven)

you can also decorate it, my favorite decoration is emoticon cupcake :D LOL.





**if you want to make plain cupcakes instead of chocolate, you can just switch 75 gr of self raising flour and 25 gr of cacao with 100 gr of self raising floor plus a pinch of vanilla powder.


well happy cooking!
and i guess tomorrow i'll bake cupcakes!


Liebe, fifa♥

hey-hello!

well well, another post! a quick update post, i'll not post something too philosophical or brainy here LOL. i guess i'll post in on the weekend :3

since my last post my life has changed a bit. it still do looks similar but i know now it's a bit different :3
and right know i really need a little break, so i will write in this blog.

OK, ONE, now i'm the additional keyboardist of a japan power pop band named Voice of June (okay this sounds a bit crazy and so-not-me)the girls there are super cute, super white, super thin, and also a marvelous dancers. but i think i'll have my own style haha ( i spent too much time with a baroque pop-folk rock band though, you can't blame me to have a 'serious' looking LOL.

ok let's compare this :


and this :


haha, maybe i'm in a wrong place xp


TWO, i lost my handphone and my uncle bought me an onyx blackberry. this is like a dream, really. my uncle said it was for my GPA last semester. hope that i can maintain it.


THREE, kak angkuy is not in angsa dan serigala anymore :( he has to be focus on bottlesmoker, since they gonna have a tour to Philipphine and of course much much more great and large project. kak ashaf also has quit, he has a new job as a translator, good for him. kak yulius (he is the bottlesmoker's manager) has replaced him. and now kak aji plays guitar and also, glockenspiel. and we have a new guitarist, kak baruna.
wow, a lot of things have happened in my band. but we're still moving on rapidly, and currently searching for a recording label.



FOUR my best friend HILDA MARDIANA has gone to japan. we (me, hilda, irly, helen, uti, and febe) held the farewell party at my home. we cooked sukiyaki and stuffs. for the farewell we made a CD consist of 5 songs for hilda, and also a scrap book. and i miss her so, nice to know that she's having a good time there.


our party :3




wow, our sukiyaki!


but fyi, i fell in her farewell party. i really fell. i got sprain, bruises, etc. for 2 weeks i couldn't walk properly, and i wore elastic bandage for my sprain legs. it really hurts me, a lot :p but now i'm a bit better. but still, i cannot do the running test today. it's still hard for me to maintain balance in my little feet :3



FIVE i have to say goodbye to his royal highness Arthur. you're just not suitable for me :) go live your sociable life, i'll not interfere you :)


SIXTH i read perahu kertas by dee. and it gives me a HOPE. for a true love <3



SEVENTH my violin teacher offers me to play with him (with d'cinnamon) and also offers me to teach violin. that's quite good, i mean with teaching i have to ensure that i have enough skill to be delivered to my future pupil, thus i HA to practice hard.



EIGHT i cut my hair. i want to look like amelie poulain. my mom said i look younger, and my friends opinions vary. from cute, sweet, fairy-ish until kobo chan-ish (ok, is kobo chan a girl or a boy?i'm not pretty sure~)


amelie!



and me!


NINTH i'll learn to be more grateful for what i've earned :)and i'll study harder than before, i'll practice violin harder than before, i'll work harder than before, and also i'll learn to be more positive :)thank you helen, irly, uti, and the other for your support! :3


and TENTH a lot of ups and downs. but you'll still there. thank you dear KEE! <3


and i gotta go now. kreutzer and bach has already called me :3


love, fifa♥

chopin night with Aleksander Kudajczyk ^^

brilliant!

this is the concert that i've just watched last night with mbak echi, mas hendy, and mas beke at CCF Bandung.

i always love chopin's composition so much. and last night, Sir Aleksander Kudajczyk played the thing really really brilliant :)

unfortunately i forgot to record his playing or take a picture of his playing secretly (because we're not allowed to take pictures >.<)


we (the girls) has got his autograph and took a picture with him, here take a look


thanks to the boys for their patience, especially mas hendy to took the picture :D


well, wonderful concert.
and oh, i have ever played 2 songs from the repertoire last night.

nocturne in c sharp minor, op.posth and one of the chopin's valse.
i guess i'm gonna practice piano again, harder :D


cheers♥

my holiday ^^

hey all! this is the second last day of my holiday. in january the 25th i'd have to start my new semester on School of Life Sciences and Technology ITB ^^

ok, my holiday, was so nice. thanks God.

and it was unpredictable. thanks God.

ok let's see what i've done in my holiday..

the first week 21dec-27 dec
half holiday. i was still having two of my final examination (ttki and pti) but after that holiday began ^^ i spent a lot of time hanging out with friends and baking cupcakes.

i played at let's play violin it was great. incredibly, i didn't fail my czardas monti that much LOL.



and i intended to watch voice of june performance on ciwalk, but after that i had to go to play at cafe rumah 1930, so i did not watch them (sadly, it was my last job there)




and i played with angsa dan serigala (my dear band^^) on score ciwalk.




the second week 28 dec-3 jan
i didn't do much. only one music lesson, one band practice, making muffins, and then i went to braga festival to watch voj (again) but then the performance was cancelled, oh dear :p
right after new year's eve i had a real holiday, finally ^^ i went to hongkong and china. it was SUPERB!




the third week.4-10 jan
still china. and i went back home to bandung, exhausted. i had one accoustic performance at wedding with my friends, and finally i went to jakarta because my biggest sister, allya, returned back home to italy :(



the fourth week.11-17 jan
a hyper week. this week i learned to make chocolate mousse ^^ i recorded my song, indonesiaku for indonesia song festival 2010 (full version of the story can be read, here).

i practiced with klabklassik string trio for wedding, and then my sister's boyfriend birthday! me and my friend made a surprise party, and me and my sister bake a full of love cake (recipe can be seen here)





after that, angsa dan serigala live recording.

and klabklassik string trio performance at wedding. it was nice.

and yeyen and dian recording project at aru. i played the violin, mas syarif and mas yunus played guitar, mas ammy as the director, kak yeyen and kak dian, of course, as the super duper good singer (uyeah!) and kak dega (as the manager)
we really had a good time ^^ recording, eating, and gossiping. LOL. full story and pictures can be seen here



the last week.
last week of holiday. i spent my time doing a major cleaning up and attending music lessons and exercising on treadmill, LOL. and oh, shopping. i went to matahari BIP, and jogja sunda (surprisingly it sells very good clothes, i bought a nodame cantabile style dress, it was nice! you should try to shop there!^^ -later on i'll post my picture wearing my nodame dress, LOL)

i also just have discovered a cool boutique at setiabudi supermarket. actually it IS for kids. but i don't care, as long as they have a good dresses that fits on me :p

by the way, you may think that i'm a super shopaholic. but trust me, i'm not. i rarely do this kind of shopping spree, besides, i use my own money for previous jobs to buy the thing ^^


and then, i went to oculist, and the doctor said that i CAN wear contact lenses, only for performance, not for daily basis ^^ and why not? so i had the prescription for contact lenses :D but i'm still a bit afraid to try :p
and then, Indonesian Song Festival Team party at my home. we bought, we cooked, we ate :D it was superb also. i learned to make tiramisu, and it was quite nice ^^




and finally today, and tomorrow.

i am trying to optimize my holiday! today i'll go to watch chopin night at ccf. and tomorrow i'll go all day. to my friend house, attending RGB (ok, RGB and i'm going to play guitar LOL. what's RGB? full information here) and.. swim!

^^

well.
i really thanked God for this wonderful holiday, and a good first semester GPA. thanks God! :>
i really thanked God for a wonderful and supportive family.
i really thanked God for all of my friends and best friends.
i really thanked God for everything.

i failed my holiday resolution of practicing driving.
but that's quite fine LOL.

and my mood for this holiday?
a loads of UPs and DOWNs, really. but i've moved on, a bit.
i smiled a lot, i laughed a lot, i cried a lot, and i blushed a lot too! LOL :>

and after all, i just want to be happy. just pray that this happiness won't fade, guys!

cheers♥

cake siram cokelat ^^

cannot really make a good english name for this cake, actually it's just a simple cake layered with chocolate icing.
this recipe is simple and easy to try ^^
i've tried this on 14th of january 2o1o, to celebrate my sister's boyfriend birthday. and it was quite nice ^^

the cake
250 gr of sugar
6 eggs
250 gr of plain flour

1. turn on the oven and set the temperature to 180 degree celcius
2. prepare a baking pan, spread butter and a bit of flour over it
3. put sugar and eggs in a bowl and whisk it until pale, fluffy, and stiff.
4. carefully fold the mixture with flour, pour it into the baking pan
5. bake it for about 20 minutes

the icing (for chocolate layer)
3 tbsp of butter (preferably lurpark or anchor)
2 tsp of cacao
2 tbsp of milk
1 tsp of vanilla powder

1. melt the butter
2. put the other ingredients and mix it well

creating the whole cake
1. put the cake in a baking tray
2. cover it with chocolate icing
3. make another icing (optional) to write and decorate the cake more! :)

happy eating and trying ^^

:)

You’ll know that you miss someone very much when every time you think of that person, your heart breaks into pieces and just a quick “Hello” from that person can bring the broken pieces back.

:)

learn to love again :3

A Girl Meets Bossanova 2, the album from my currently favorite singer, olivia ong :3

a chinese singaporean singer, only 24 years old. this album was launched in 2006. i really love her sweet and airily singing voice.
and i really love the bossanova arrangement of all the song. the percussion, the saxophone solo and everything.

oh, and the lyrics of the song is really really suitable and inspiring for a little girl like me that strive to find a new love hahaha. LOL.


better love, that seems a bit near, very sweet and tender :)
and also confusing.
in a way that i am not really good in crushing somebody. and during the past experiences my love story ended up badly.
i don't really know how should i act, how should i talk, how should i smile, how should i dress. is this too much? or does he like it? does he feel annoyed about my presence? am i too talkative? what does he feel toward me? does his kindness mean something? or it's just his usual attitude?


really confusing. but sweet.
let's work on it, slowly but sure.
and i can only pray to God that everything will end up nicely :3