you'll be surprised to read this.

hello all, finally i cannot let this thing buried inside my head. i have a story for you all. and please read it carefully :)

i'm trying out a very main stream thing right now.. which is OSJUR. hahaa. yesterday the seniors interviewed us, they also ask me for my Curriculum Vitae and they also give us some personality test.
and yesterday they ask me, "what do you think about an anti social person?"

hahaha, i guess they're asking this question into the wrong person. since i know, some people labels me as an antisocial. but whatever, i really have to ignore their thoughts.
do they pay for your tuition? NO.
do they care for you when you are down? NO.
do they know you exactly? NO.
have i ever tried to interfere them? NO.

so why should i care?

i'm very sorry , but i think that people that label a person as an anti social has a shallow mind. you can't expect anyone to be like you, God make everyone to be different, and if someone's different from you, why should you take a really big deal of it?

if you think that i am an antisocial, ok that's ok. you can say that i am arrogant etc. but i really have to say that i have another responsibilities out there and priority list. if i can come into a gathering then i will come. but my responsibilities have been built 2 years before i enter ITB, if my responsibilty clash with gathering etc. then i will have to choose my responsibility.

you can say, that i only have an indie band. but no matter how small is my band, i want to be give my dedication fully. maybe we are only an indie band but we're serious. we have vision and mission. if you say being an indie band member is not a big deal, it is a big deal for me. no matter how small the scope is, if you're serious then someday better things will come to you, insya Allah.

and it's tiring too of course. maybe you think that practicing 2 hours in studio is not a big deal. but it's sometimes tiring, especially when after that you still have to study until 10 pm at home. and wake up again at 4 am to study more. and checksound? it takes my time too, i bring books to be read while waiting because you will not know how long it will take. and recording? one shift equals 6 hours, and your time to take your playing will only be about 1 hours, the rest of the time? i usually bring books, again to read. and the performance? when you come on stage you have to smile, you have to play whole heartedly, you have to smile, you have to be cheery. when you have big troubles or your body is sick you still have to play like that. there's no excuse, in stage you have to look incredibly nice for the audiences. because sometimes they pay to see you, they have give their time to see you. and the only way to appreciate it is to give the best service for them.


and my other business as a wedding musician. i really love it. and although it's still a small one it's evolving. i have to practice and play as best as i can. you will not be happy if the musician's in your wedding is playing sucks. you will also be unhappy if you attend a wedding with a bad singer.

and also my own study. MY PARENT HAS GIVEN ME ALL THE BEST. good schools, paying for my expensive school and university tuition. they gave me english course that costs 400000IDR a month for my future. they paid my USM and all of those stuffs before i enter ITB, like entering Bimbingan Belajar Daniel. they have bought me all the original book. they also let me photocopied all of those heavy book per chapter so i can bring only the chapter that i need for one day because they don't want me to carry those heavy things with my small body. they have gave me music course to stabilize my right and left brain.

they provide me driver to go to school and a car, later on if i can drive properly. if i ask money from them, they will give it without asking, sometimes more then what i need. hopefully now, for everyday's life like lunch in campus, buying stationary, buying my unimportant things (like dress, jewelry, felt markers, and fancies)i already can afford it myself. i know how hard is it to work, to get money. so i try to manage my own money as good as i can. i'm saving it in my bank, i bring snacks to campus so i don't have to buy unimportant meals (which is sometimes doesn't contain good nutrition too)
i think that there's NO NO NO EXCUSE FOR ME TO HAVE A BAD GPA.
there's NO EXCUSE FOR ME NOT TO FINISH MY UNIVERSITY IN 4-4,5 YEARS.
there's NO EXCUSE FOR ME NOT TO ATTEND A SUMMER SCHOOL OR NOT TO GET A SCHOLARSHIP.

the only thing that you can do for your parent is to make them proud. they contribution to you is ultimate. you should think about your parent first, before you think about some social group.

and i try to help mom at home. i try to go home early so that i can help her doing something. nowadays, it's rather hard for me. since i have my indie band, another band, and my job. so whenever i have a free time, well family must come first.

for me it's not the time to playing around, i have to stick to my plan. to be focus. i'm living in a pressure cooker, but i don't care.


hm, that's for my case.

the point is, a person has reason for them to be rather inactive in one social group. maybe they have a different burden than you. for my case, my burden is from the beginning all of my own choices.
but what if they have no choices?

maybe they have to earn their own money for they school tuition? we don't know about that.
maybe their parent is super strict and demanding them for a good GPA, to get a scholarship, to ? we don't know about that.
maybe they have to take care of their smaller siblings? we don't know about that.
maybe their mother is sick and they have to be at their mother's side? we don't know about that.
or maybe they just have another passion like me?


so please please please.
why you all have to be like "OK LET'S ELIMINATE THE ANTISOCIALS!"
or sending things in twitters plurks etc. "THE ANTISOCIALS IS MAKING BURDEN FOR OUR CLASSYEAR, THEY DON'T CONTRIBUTE AT ALL. THEY WILL REGRET THEIR ATTITUDE!"

we the antisocials (on your perspective)never want to eliminate you.
please please please just live in harmony.

if we're not disturbing you then why you have to disturb me?
personally you see, if i can come to one gathering then i'll come, i'll help.


please respect each other, we're just the same. we're just a human.


writing down in the behalf of the "so called-antisocials"


Afifa Ayu