Saturday, 21 January 2012

here we go again :)

oh hello! seems like i haven't written anything on this blog for.. almost 1 year (the last post was on 26th of january 2011 and now it is 21st of january 2012.

well many things has happened in the past one year. my life is great, really great.
academic thing is still going fine, my band and my music career is superb, my band has just launched its first album, i'm still doing my wedding singer chores plus now recording for some project plus collaborating with my fellow musician. now i'm teaching violin plus owning an online cake shop, which gives me a considerable amount of cash :p

but when it comes to love. well i just can say that i'm still unfortunate.

lucky me, my past lover the 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named' is totally gone right now.

it took me 3 years and 5 months, 6 stupid it's complicated status, 1 sincere yet heart wrenching telenovela-like relationship (that i suppose until now is my TRUE love), and 1 salvation + a bit foolish but sweet relationship (i suppose until now is my second candidate of true love and my first candidate of the MOST SINCERE relationship)
well it took that much effort to get rid of him, i think he put a spell on me :p

well, but now i want to tell you about my a bit foolish but sweet relationship, the second candidate of true love and the first candidate of the most sincere relationship.

well, it just has ended (approximately 3 hours ago)
It was really short (in my parameter), 2 months and 14 days. at first it was like a fairy tale but well, in the end it was not a fairy tale, but it taught me a loads of thing :)
i learn about compromise, commitment, understanding, patience and incredibly loads of thing in such a short time.

me and my ex were totally different in everything. i want a cinderella-like relationship, and he's (later on found out to be) as cold as an iceberg. i am an attention seeker + attention giver while he loves to spend his time alone, well a bit self centered sometimes. we have opposite personality, the old-fashioned cancer against the liberty loving aquarius. but we share (i believe up to now) one simple yet sweet sincere love.

he was the cute looking teddy bear guy, my band's friend introduced to me at Gedung Indonesia Menggugat Event. a good photographer and videographer with charming tone color, he really got the talent. a cute guy with a red shirt that shyly ask to take my picture at Kick Fest 2011. a cute guy that pretended to know about Hepatitis Viruses, PCR plus claiming that he love life science when he approach me.

the first month was easy and loving. but then.. it was not as easy as i thought. he began to give me less and less and less attention. being very ignorant and childish and stubborn. I first react as stubborn and bloody-minded as his attitude, i went mad, angry, and super emotional towards him. i scolded him and forbid him to do things that i dislike. i disturbed him by keep bbm/ym/texting him when he work or hang out until midnight with his friend.

but i really wanted the things to work well, to last. i changed my attitude totally. i became more understanding and more cautious. i seek for attention less, i tried to be more independent, stop being a crybaby and i let him to do anything he want. we had a quite difficult time but still loving.

and i went to a trip to Europe and things became irregular. i could see how he has lost the passion of loving me and missing me. i tried harder to salvage the sinking ship but he does nothing. and the entire last week, i was being emotional again, well, i was really desperate. but then finally we talked and it end.

a time apart is what we need right now.
Love is still there but the passion is currently missing.
i really appreciate him to be open and also to accept the fact that he did fatal mistakes to this relationship. i don't think many boy would do that due to their 'pride'
now, i don't have to have too much tiring thoughts about his everyday's ignorance like : 'kenapa ga bbm ya?' 'kenapa ya kok ngetweet tapi bbm aku ga dibalas?' 'kemana dia, kok aku ga dikabarin?' 'oh God, masih sayang ga ya ini orang sama aku kok lepas tangan sekali?'
and he's good to finally release me from that fatiguing thoughts by letting me free.

now i'm trying to understand that right now he need a time alone to develop himself to be a better man. at least, he has to be able to stand on his own feet before trying to be a man for his loved woman right?
i am a bit relieved that one big burden has been lifted up from my shoulder.


one thing i believe, that our love was sincere.
aparts from all of the differences, we've survived and we spent some happy time. and i learn about commitment from him. there were times when i am really tired of him, but then i know the relationship and the love for him is more important. so i changed my attitude and try to salvage it.
you can't expect those romantic love will last forever right? i guess, the time when i try to understand and fight more instead of being childish and ignorant is the time when i learn a sincere love, a more mature form of love :)

and i believe that always loving someone else sincere will bring you eventually to a sincere love in the end :) i don't know who will be there in the end, it might be him, it might be other guy. it's up to You, dear Allah :)
but you're always around i know. loving and giving affection not in a romantic way.

Dear Andi Syarif, for now, we may not walk together holding hands.
but we're walking together side by side.
if God permits maybe someday in the future you will again gently take my hand & never let it go!
and i'm asking you to sing this lyric out loud, i guess this part is our favorite!

'Berjalanlah bersamaku, berjalanlah bersamaku!'

with love

Afifa Ayu Koesoema, Marmut <3

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

lunch box!

nowadays i'm bringing my own bento style lunch box to campus! yeay! :)

well, few people bring lunch box to school and some thinks that it's boring and a bit old fashioned.
but what if we design the lunch box like this? (well it's cute, it will make you full, and also it will make you spend less money, isn't it?)

simple and colorful :)sausage, spicy burger, lettuce salad, rice, and also potato croquette.

sausage, spicy hamburger, cheese omelette and also rice. and also a bunny in a lunchbox! (this bunny is a jelly bought by my mom at singapore, it taste good but i felt bad to eat the whole bunny :'( )

bite size steak diane and crispy chicken, tomato and lettuce salad, friend rice and choco strawberry pudding for the desert! enjoy!

well, also my advice as a fouth semester microbiology student - food scientist wanna be. bring your own special lunch box to school/campus! :) the food quality, and nutrition will be better. and i garantee that it contains less COLIFORM than the food you would expect to find in some canteen on ITB. LOL :)

have a very wonderful night all,

with loads of love,

Afifa Ayu♥

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

newly decorated room !

oh hello all! finally this night i can write about my newly decorated room (after a long week of cleaning it up, piling up things, and buying new furniture for my room) my room is 80% newly decorated! and i love it!

let's see now i have :

1. necklace hanger + hair accessories hanger
found this at daisho Paris Van Java for 22000 IDR.
it's a multipurpose hanger exactly, but i use it for necklaces. you see i have tons of necklace. from hama beads, girly necklaces, pearl necklaces, and many more. putting it in an unorganized way will hinder you to wear the necklace. instead you'll be lazy to pick a necklace that suits your outfit. you can see that the hanger can divide your necklace to 10 categories and i do think this will help me so much to mix and match my clothes and necklace :)

and this one is for my pretty hair accessories, my favorite!

2. shoe rack

found this at carrefour Paris van Java with a low price (94000 IDR)
it's a multipurpose rack actually and it's a bit too good for shoes, but i like it so much. i put some of my shoes here, i mean i'm really a shoe maniac! from my pink oshkosh boots, zara kids boots, aixaggio flats, colehan flats, until salvatore ferragamo heels.
there are still more shoes but the rack is already full. LOL

3. toolbox
found this at carrefour Paris van Java for about 60000 IDR.

my dearest band, Angsa dan Serigala has a huge strong toolbox that (literally) able to load anything. it inspires me to adopt this adorable pink toolbox for my musical equipment from carrefour! :) from wireless, pre amps, pick ups, cables, small percussion instruments, until small thing like spare violin string and violin polish. i love my toolbox.

4. bag rack

my bags (again i am not only a shoe-holic but also a bag-holic) used to share place with my colorful stockings. but now my bags have their own space! from oroton and aigner hand bags, zara purse, until my calvin klein backpack. i love my bags so much, i'm just addicted to it!

5. stocking rack

found this for only 200000 IDR at Giant Pasteur.
uber cute rack! <3 i can put my stockings here, color coded. from formal black to shocking pink, crazy stripes, or skull pattern! also leggings, shorts, leg warmers, and my fancy long socks! stocking is so me! i don't care if someone said that it's a bit too formal or old fashioned to wear stockings. they just can't find a good colored, fancy and trendy stockings to be worn! :p

6. my closet
ok, i need a bigger one. if i have my own house later on first thing that i will do is to make a clothes room. where you can get all of your clothes hung (just like in a store) so that no clothes will left unseen and unworn :p anyway, i've done mass cleaning up (my routine per 6 months). piling and sorting things and donating MANY THINGS (just so i can buy new clothes :p)

T Shirts, formal blazer and blouse at first level.

Pajamas, skirts, plain t shirts and tank tops at second level.

Dress, color coded at third level.

Dress, color coded and also sweater and a bit of pants at fourth level.

Another pile of sweater and campus attire at fifth level.

My good blazers, gown, costume, and formal dress are being hung.

i need more closet, God :p

7. my tall cupboard
thanks mom for giving it to me! :)
first level is dedicated to my huge thick and difficult university books! from first year purcell, cutnell, and brady. my second year solomon, harvey until my favorite microbiology related text books : cappuccino (laboratory manual, black, and brock!)
second level to put (literally) anything inside.
third level to put some of my reading books.

fourth level to put my first light microscope and some of my poly pockets collection plus food shaped eraser (which is never been used to erase anything due to it's extra cuteness)
fifth level for my music book , score, etc.

8. my study

i rarely study (here). i study at a huge table outside my room in the middle of the house. to keep a good interaction with all of my family members. i haven't been tidying it much. i put some of my book, my stationary and diaries collection here. i also put photos and my poly pocket collection on top of my study!

9. a multi purpose basket
to put my everything LOL. from third semester journals to pile of disposable contact lenses! LOL.

10. my bed
the most comfortable bed ever! i love this more than heavenly bed from westin or sweet sleeper from sheraton. because my bed has my dolls (from little elmo, big elmo, series of fatty pigs and cows, until my lovely ifa bear), a warm bed cover and also a bed net (do say that i'm childish). currently i'm writing this on my bed :)

11. my end cupboard

people usually have end table but i have end cupboard instead :p it contains my favorite novels, mostly in english and chicklit-ish, like meg cabot. some of my books are also old and classic like i capture the castle or baby sitter's club. few are a bit smarter like abook about song writing and the famous tipping point or nice girls don't get the corner office.

12. my achievements board plus work station

this is where i put all of the ID from a gigs that i have ever played, brochure from a concert that i have ever participated, and also orchestra concert! and here i put my pink mini lenovo and also my cute eggy speaker, to keep my room musical! :>

and and, i guess i've described all the things in my room. LOL.

see you later in the next post, guys!

With Love, Afifa Ayu <3

Sunday, 9 January 2011

songs available for download.

okay, hello again all! <3

trying to be more productive this whole morning i'm working with my sibellius creating new song for Indonesian Youth Ideas! i hope that all the things will be good! :)
and nothing will troubled me, from the making, arrangement, practice until the recording. Amin!

btw, let me share you the link of my songs :

this song won 3rd place at national competition of Muda Musikustix from Kompas Muda :D

this song has it own video clip hahaha :p people said that this song is suitable for.. sinetron soundtrack HAHA. special thanks to the video clip model LOL.

this song was also for a competition, unluckily it didn't win. this song has a bit of pentatonic and gamelam bali touch, you might wanna listen to it :)

Anak Negri
this is my first song with band arrangement. you can get the spirit of nationalism!

Satu Atap
this is the soundtrack of a comic created by my sister, Satu Atap (you can get it in nearest gramedia) this song is a bit fairy tale-ish :)

Gapai Cemerlang Gemintang
this song is one of the lagu angkatan of School of Life Sciences and Technology ITB class of 2009! :)

and that's it (for now)

please kindly download it, friends :)

with loads of love♥

Afifa Ayu

Saturday, 8 January 2011


oh hey hello!
happy new year all~

actually i'm not good in writing new year's resolutions but it's kinda fun to write it, in my usual simple way. half for fun half for real :p
i mean, how can you garantee that person having a 'cool-super ambitious' new year's resolution will be able to fulfill it all?

okay, here's my so called resolution!

- having a good understanding of my major to be a great microbiologist (medical and food) :)
- having a good GPA (> 3,5, entering deanlist, yum yum!)
- somehow getting a scholarship for summer school somewhere this summer (let's try to find it! Rijksuniversiteit Nederland, i want to go there so much!)
- read more scientific journals about microbiology! (cmon cmon!)
- being able to start some kind of simple research on microbiology and start to create paper + submitting it somewhere (but i don't know how, help me :p)

- practice violin, singing, piano, and everything harder.
- learn music theory and music history more.
- learn improvisation wholeheartedly
- creating a music blog of my own, You Tube Channel + myspace.
- having a strict violin practice, no tolerance.
- following ABRSM theory exam grade 5 + practical exam, grade 6 or 7?
- learn to play flute or baby alto <3
- create more songs, be more creative, develop my own style :) and don't forget to record it and follow competitions!
- start teaching violin! :)

- commit more commit more! and arrange more things, not only for the string section :)
- record the violin and string section part in our debut album excellently!
- hopefully this will be our year! bunch of performances, successful album, tours outside bandung, and maybe abroad? AMIIIN AMIIN AMIIN.

- working more in various kind of events, and get more money hahahaa :D
- make a real portfolio and distributing it :)
- learn many kind of songs, enrichment in song banks and no more 'saying no to requests' at weddings XD

- being both open minded and also selective in filtering jobs, remember that i can't do it all but i still need loads of experiences :)

- learn to cook more more recipe other than western and japanese :)
- being a pastry princess like Whitney Miller (haha, dreaming!) :D
- making my pastry business (cupcakes, cakes and all) serious and having my own little brand plus online store.
- making a proper cooking blog.

- come what may, and that's all <3

- try to be more grateful and get rid of my sh*tty inferiority syndrome! :)
- love myself more :3
- tweet less about unimportant things, bismillah! :p

whoa, this list is going so long, but well i love to write. And hopefully many of this so called resolutions will be fulfilled this year, amin :)

Loads of love,

Afifa Ayu

Sunday, 21 November 2010

chasing pavements.

should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads to nowhere?

yesterday when the CD player at the car 'sensitively' played this song, all that we can do is sing along.

frustrating, please don't torture me.

Thursday, 18 November 2010


wow, i haven't written anything in this blog for a long time, long long time.

well, hello! how are you all?

so, where have i been?
currently i'm playing double role as a real microbiology student and a part time musician while leaving my comfort zone away and finding a new comfort zone.

the picture was taken by my fellow microbiologist, robby ganesha, thank you robby!

i'm loving my role as a real microbiology student although it's driving me crazy and consume almost my entire brain to study biophysics, organic chemistry and analytical chemistry. and consume my time to be at the laboratory for hours and doing gazillions tasks (journal, experiment report, etc.) every weekend. plus i'm taking extra subject(my ambition to follow fast track program). but i'm loving it so much. i really think that this microbiology really suits me :) and just pray for me that i can be a good food/medical microbiologist! :)

pictures are taken from here, thank you agung! :)

i really love my role as a part time musician too. although it really took almost my whole spare time. i mean, if i'm not in the laboratory or campus then you have 90% chance to catch me at some random studio, practicing; at music school, studying music; at random gig, performing; or at random wedding or acoustic performance, working. it's tiring, although it doesn't consume brain as much as my study but i consume my energy a loads to perform well. not forget to mention about : late night performances which leave me sleepy at morning classes, performances outside town that will take my entire day and force me to bring my task thus doing it while waiting or even on road,
but i'm happy with this, with my angsa dan serigala, voice of june, klabklassik string trio, and some band that use me as an additional.

because as i have mentioned before, i'm leaving my comfort zone, really really leaving it to open my heart for a new comfort zone. and it doesn't feel nice and warm and secure. it's harsh, it's not safe, and it's still a probability to have a new comfort zone. meaning right now, i'm TRULY INDEPENDENT and as a person being independent really tortures me. and i'm using my double role to push away my thoughts from loneliness, inferiority syndromes, and stuffs.

i have to be tough and magical, cause that's the way 'he' always see me :)

and who knows what will happen in the future? (quoting someone)

i'll talk to you later, now i have to catch up for my group presentation's experiment at 10 am. just wish me luck! and wish me luck for this weekend! (God please just give the best for me)

with loads of love
afifa ayu ♥

Monday, 16 August 2010

hello all :D

Wow, i haven't updated my blog for such a loong time :) i'm trying to be more productive right now :) a loads of writing will enhance your english.
(lately i'm feeling like my english is rather dull)

and well how are you? i'm feeling quite fine nowadays! :D let me give you updates!

finally i'm a real university student right now! majoring Microbiology :) i'm quite happy with this major, i like microbiology so much. Microbes is so unique, although they are very very small their role is so big in our everyday life. And every life process is connected with microbes. I really think that this major is suitable for me, besides it pursue my interest. It is also a branch of knowledge that's emerging and evolving very fast right now!
and well, since my GPA (and everyone's GPA in Microbiology) fulfills the requirements for fast-track program, i'm quite sure that i will apply for this fasttrack program. 5 years to take our bachelor and master degree. i hope that i can cope with everything, but i guess it will be allright. You just need extra hard work! besides, getting bachelor+master in a short time will let me take another master degree on music, somewhere else abroad, maybe?
well just pray for me!

awawa congratulations for my lovely band, angsa dan serigala!

we play at TVRI! what a wonderful picture :)

and our song 'Bersamaku' won Indonesian Cutting Edge Music Award as one of the Best Newcomer (there were 8 other bands who win this category)

kak aji and kak mega holding the trophy

It was quite surprising, i mean, on the last week of the voting our position was not that good and stuffs (but in fact, it wasn't depend only on the voting, they have juries and stuffs to choose the winners)
We are all very grateful for this, something that we.. really didn't expect to happen. Thanks God :)
After that we had one page full review of us in Media Indonesia.

hmhm, on Media Indonesia :)

one of our performance on ABSTRAK V was being reviewed on Belia PR :)

and we've just had an interview plus photo session with Pikiran Rakyat. again, thanks dear God :)

what are we trying to do now is like regenerating the band.
creating new arrangement of songs, new concepts, new compositions, and even choreography! we're also still working on our recording for our EP and
it's a long way for us to have an EP for our own, the biggest thing that hinders us is the budget. but we will strive for it! having an EP is like having an identity for a band. it doesn't mean that if you already have EP or album, it will guaranteed your band's successfulness. But at least, having EP or album is like having a very good tools to spread your music to the media, to the people all around Indonesia. People can access it easily from everywhere, our music can be publicated more easily with the presence of EP or album.
having EP or album also means video clip, which means more and more publication :)
well just pray for us! not forget to mention, with new goals to be achieved i'm trying to contribute more and more to this band :) they are just like second family for me! :)
and full loyalty will surely lead to a better band!

i'm getting along quite well. now i can blend with them, not only from the things that they talk about, but also to their daily outfits and life style.

quite girlband-ish right? (the picture was taken on a radio interview)

and cheers :D

see? you cannot see that i'm still a member of a serious folk rock band right?

btw, the picture was taken on 'Top 15 Live Audition of L.A. Lights Indiefest' :) we played our song 'Bertepuk Sebelah Tangan' :) our performance was quite great. but unluckily we didn't pass to the next stage, but i think that's quite great to be Top 15 from Bandung.
this achievement lead us to new projects to establish ourself, and again please just pray for us :)

improvement needed.
i'm trying to focus on myself, to develop myself. let's not think about other shining stars out there.
right now i'm learning musical modes, twelve keys, pentatonic, diminished keys, major keys, minor keys, augmented keys-well, PROPER IMPROVISATION. and also music theory, and etudes and all those quite sickening stuffs.
pray for me.
others can be flashy, but i have my own style of playing violin. i just need to develop it :)

lately i've been playing orchestra again, with ITB Student Orchestra. i'm very happy :) hope they will let me play with them more.

one project was playing at the artepolis.

one project was playing for ITB International Choir Competition's Opening. i accidentally sat on a golden chair :)

during the holiday, i help my friends band, one as a violinist one as a... cellist..

helping baby eat crackers :)

and helping pink pony club :)

after a quite long absence, i'm back in business. things were really hectic back there but now let's contribute fully to my wonderful klabklassik. trying to write articles for the blog, trying to help for the Classical Guitar Fiesta 2010 publication, trying to do some composition for the Klab, and trying to finish the Klabklassik's Academy final task.

well i love cooking, and i've just had my first experience for selling my own food. it was cupcake, macaroni schotel and lemonade (on my bigger sister comic launching Satu Atap)

tid bid :)

i really want to be able to cook many recipes! from cake, dessert, indonesian food, japanese food, western food, etc.
and i really like if my own cooking is being liked my many other person. i really feel the enjoyment. i want to open a business in culinary (people always need foods, anyway) and i also want to be a cupcake artist!

harmony? i guess that's what i really want to achieve right now. as you have known, i am still a bit anti social, but i really want to change, change a bit. i don't want to be a super sociable girl, that spend most of her time in organization etc.etc. i really can't (because i have loads of other responsibilities out there)
and if i'm changing to be a super sociable girl then i will change myself. i still want to be myself.

and back to harmony, i cannot be extremely anti social. right now i'm trying to participate a bit there, not much, but still having some existence. my major is still music and organizations out there, this kind of inner campus organization will be like a 'minor' for me. but let's just try to participate, following meetings, filling out open reqruiment form, and finishing the matriculation program for PPN. i'm not aiming for a big goal (like being kadiv or something else, something special, something great and reflecting great ability of leadership blah blah).

besides, everyone have different kind of contribution to 'that' organization, depending to our own ability. i can play music, so i don't bother to play in any of their events or do something related to it.

and i guess you all can see that i'm trying hard to contribute and participate. i'm just not a very sociable person, but i try to follow it although it's sometimes killing me.
how wonderful it will be if i can still help without reducing the values inside myself, and we'll be living in harmony, appreciating each other.

i'm also planning to take an italian language course, i really want to find some short course or summer school about music in italy. and it will help a lot if you can speak and understand italian a bit :p

and i'm trying to write more, to practice my english and critical thinking.

and nooo more inferiority syndrome, let's love myself!

and this post is getting a bit too long, i guess i should stop.
talk to you later :)

with love, afifa ayu♥